Pain

Living with psuedo tumor ceribri, or inner cranial hypertension, is not fun.  I feel like my head is gonna erupt.  My eye sight is going out, like I'm going blind. I'm so dizzy.  I wanna cry from the pain.  It's not fun. And sitting at work under flourescent lights and staring at computers does NOT help.  It only makes it worse. Spinal taps relieve the pressure, but only for a day.  Theres a surgery but it is hit and miss and I dont want to go under the knife and it not work.  I take daily meds and if my head gets too bad, I take a shot in my bicep that knocks me out.  It's hard to tell people the pain that dont have it.  It's hard to explain a pain that you cant see....

Again?

 The house came back. This time I didnt enter the second floor. The first floor is nice. Kinda like a cottage feel tucked away. You could hear her chains dragging on the second floor. Shes still there. I need to face this demon of mine. It is breaking me slowly. Her faint cackles can be heard over the firewood crackles. Was she always with me and always there, just over time evolved into the demon? Was she ever nice? Maybe I can make her that way again. ....

The house....

The house keeps coming in my dreams... the first floor is normal, living room kitchen and stuff. Up a cathedral staircase to the second floor, that's a different world. You can walk around the landing and stay by the fireplace that's always lit. Theres little trinkets and ahit everywhere. DONT move them. And DONT leave the landing. If you do, you get put into a labyrinth of rooms and that cackle.... demonic cackle.... she stalks you, knows where you are. I always wake up before she touches me. She looks like the jackal from 13 ghosts. But I think shes me....